Jinsook Yu - A Bone Cancer Patient Meets Jesus A In Sterile Room. Shallom,
I'm Jinsook Yu from Hanmaum Church in Chuncheon. I used to think that there was nothing after death. Then while facing death through bone cancer, I found out that through Jesus, there is a way to live a life of resurrection after death.
I would like to share my story with you. I had no interest in philosophy or afterlife. I just thought that death was the end. I never thought about how this world was created or whether God really existed or not.
I thought those things were for people smarter than me to figure out. I really had no interest in those matters. Although I went to a Christian High School, the only thing I remember from that is the Lord's Prayer. When I saw the Christians around me, I didn't like their superficial, two-faced kindness, so I didn't have a good impression of their God.
I thought that people who didn't believe in God believe good lives by helping and serving others were better than Christians. Besides, I really loved the world. There was so much to enjoy and many things that meet me happy. I had a vague fear that if I believed in God, I would have to give up those things, and that is why I rejected Christianity.
Then about five years ago, my older sister, whose leg was crippled due to polio, come to visit me. We were having tea after lunch, and she suddenly started to talk about God. "Ugh. There she goes again!" I didn't want to hear any more, so I crossed my arms and interrupted her, saying, "If you're going to keep talking about this, let's not meet again. I really hate God. Where's heaven and hell ? There's nothing after death. Don't ever talk to me about God again."
I didn't notice then, but my sister later told me that what I said almost made her cry. Although she was harshly rejected, she came back to me a month later and told me about God again, this time in tears.
She said that she was sorry for being so mean to me in our family. She said that she repented a lot to God about that. You see, she was known as an angel to everyone, but she had been very irritable to her family. She was crying with a face full of agony, and I was somewhat baffled by her behavior.
Before I knew it, I had agreed to her proposal that I tried listening to the gospel just five times. Well, I thought this was a good chance to stop her from ever talking about God again. So after I've made her promise that she will leave me alone no matter what I decided afterwards, I began to listen to the gospel.
What shocked me the most was that Jesus really was a historical figure. I had thought of Jesus like one of the gods in Greek and Roman mythology. But He was one of the four major holy figures of the world. And I was surprised to hear that history was divided into BC and AD based on His birth. I realized that I had hated Christianity not because of God Himself but because of the people who claimed to believe in God, that I had opposed God without even trying to know who He was.
But I didn't go to church right away just because my views about the Bible had changed positively. About two years later, we faced financial difficulties after my husband co-signed his Friend's loan. My heart was humbled, and my sister and I gave worship together. Things were different than before. In the past my sister had to beg me to listen to her. But this time I asked myself as I listened, "Could this really be real ? If so, shouldn't I believe ?" Then I was able to hear God's Word little by little, and I prayed to receive Jesus in my heart. But I still didn't have any desire to go to church !
Soon after receiving Jesus, I was hospitalized due to sudden back pain. I had two discs-repairing surgeries, but things got worse and I was rushed to an emergency room. I went through a full medical exam while wearing a back brace to prevent bone fracture. The test revealed that I had multiple myeloma a type of bone marrow cancer. I thought, "What is this ? Am I going to die ?" Suddenly, my heart sank.
I had live thinking that there was nothing after death, but great fear came upon me when I thought I might really die. Bone cancer affects these cells in the bone marrow that makes red blood cells. It is a disease that is hard to endure due to the intense pain in the bones. When discovered, it is usually at the terminal stage.
My family members and I each looked it up online without a word to each other. Most of the stories we found about bone cancer or hopeless ones. Bone marrow transplant was necessary for treatment. But even family members had only a 25% chance of matching, I couldn't hope for a better chance to match outside of the family.
But fortunately, I was able to use my own bone marrow for the transplant. Usually, the bone cancer spreads to other organs but in my case all of my other organs were healthy, which was uncommon. It wasn't until then that my family was somewhat relieved. In August of 2012, I finally received a bone-marrow transplant after going through intensive treatments of chemotherapy.
While typhoon Bolevan swept across our country, I was in a life-or-death situation in a sterile room. The sterile room was a small, one-person room that cut me off from all infectious agents. The room only had a bed and a small bathroom with a shower. one side of the room was made of glass, and you could talk with visitors through an intercom. Only one visitor was allowed each day for 30 minutes only.
I had to stay in the sterile room for a month while going through intense chemotherapy treatments, the bone marrow transplant. It felt like I was a prisoner who was being confined in isolation for serious crime. The intense chemotherapy was necessary to completely remove any cancer cells before transplant, but it also destroyed many normal cells as well, so my body became a total wreck. I kept throwing up even though my stomach was empty. My mouth and throughout work badly sore, and the painkillers did not ease my stomach pain. I cried and cried over the unbearable body aches I got weather I was sitting or lying down.
Looking at my own reflection in the mirror, I was frightened at the side of my face, which looked like corpse's. Watching the people who are crying because they had lost everything due to the typhoon on TV, I actually envied them. I thought, "At least they are still alive." The thought of death had overwhelmed me to the point where everything was a matter of life and death to me. Wven if I died, the world would still go on. And my family would be sad at first, but they would eventually forget me.
My body trembled in fear and terror as a thought that my existence was insignificant. I cried out, 'God, save me! I want to live!" I writhed in agony at death's door. And I wept and wept. That's when I opened the Bible, which I brought with me but had never opened, and started reading it for the first time. I used to have trouble reading it for even a minute, but I read it for an hour straight.
While reading 1 Corinthians, one of the verses caught my eye: "He was raised. He was raised !" I kept thinking about these words. He was raised ? As prophesied, according to the Scriptures ? Then death was not the end ! There really was life after death ! It was true that Jesus really rose from the dead ! It was true that Jesus is God ! suddenly I remember a verse I had once memorized: "In regard to sin, because men do not believe in me. Men do not believe in me !" That was sin ! Not believing in Jesus ! Being my own Lord. Jesus died and rose from the dead for someone who had rejected Him in her heart.
Even though He gave me the proof of the resurrection to believe, I had still refused to believe. This was the sin that leads me to hell. I had never thought about hell. But suddenly, I was so scared of going to hell. What was I to do now ? I was too weak to keep my body upright, but I knelt down right away. "God ! I'm sorry. I didn't know ! I didn't know that it was a sin to not believe in Jesus ! I repent. I will believed in you, Jesus. I will believe in you as Lord. Jesus, You are my lord !" I cried for a long time as I confessed like this. Then suddenly i thought, "Even if I die right now, I will live again since the risen jesus is my Lord ! Jesus surely overcame death !" Suddenly it became clear to me that there was a way to have a life of resurrection after death, and that Jesus was the way.
After repenting in tears, I sent a text message to my sister: "Thank you for leading me to my Lord. I won't make you feel alone anymore." My heart still trembles when I think of that moment. What I send to my sister was my very first confession of love to my Lord, my God. Before I ran into the sterile room, my sister gave me a printout. Written on it was a prayer that the pastor and the members of Hanmaum Church had prayed for me during worship, asking God to save me.
I was so moved by the fact that the whole church had prayer for someone they didn't even know. In addition they also sent me encouraging texts. I reply to each text with tears. "That's right. I'm not fighting alone anymore. Jesus said that He is for sure with me." I kept reminding myself and it gave me strength. From that point on, I wanted to recover quickly so I could go to Hanmaum Church. After being discharged from the sterile room, I started everything fresh as if I were a newborn.
Fortunately, the bone marrow transplant was a success. I was grateful that I was led out of the dark tunnel of bone cancer only by Jesus, Who is the Light. I believe that God answered the earnest prayers of the Hanmaum Church members.
My disease had to be constantly monitored, and my immune system was still weak. But I was just so happy with the fact that Jesus was the Lord of my life. Standing before Jesus, who saved my dying body and soul from going to hell, My heart was at peace because I now knew clearly how and why I must live.
In the spring of 2013, after hearing the Hanmaum Church was relocating, I rushed to the old church buildings I could see it before it was demolished. When I stepped inside, I felt like I was at home, and tears roll down my face. Church members, whom I met for the first time, seemed like people without any worries. It felt like a dream to meet and talk with the people I had only known by the names on the text they had sent me.
As i spent time with them, I was surprised by how they lived. They must have their own problems in life, but they live enjoying freedom and peace in Jesus. There was no pride, pretense or flaunting that I often saw in the world. Even a new believer like me could see that. They were just as they were, a fellowship of people whose Lord was Jesus. Just as a pastor said, Whoever came to church with an earnest heart would immediately surrender before the risen Jesus and naturally become a person of calling within the church body. Hearing that solitary faith was powerless but that "being together in one body" itself gave strength, I went wherever the church members went.
As I attended church with my sister, I could see that she had changed a lot. Her heart used to be so burdened because she was always self-conscious of others, but she became so free after receiving Jesus as her Lord. She was no longer swayed by what other people said or thought. She had become a person who only focused on God's Word. Through her, I realized how important lordship was in my life of faith. And I thought that if I could hold on to His lordship like my sister, then I could be a good example for others not only in faith but also in life.
One day, the pastor preached about 2nd Corinthians chapter 4 verse 5: "For we do not preach ourselves, but Jesus Christ as Lord, and ourselves as your servants for Jesus' sake." Then I knew exactly what I had to share with other people. It was that Jesus is Lord and I was to be a servant of others ! For whom ? for Jesus ! That was why it meant to serve.
Even if I was looked down upon by those whom I served, if it was for Jesus, my work would not be in vain ! My heart overflowed with joy. Just as Jesus had lived as a servant, even to death, I felt that it was feeling for me to leave with the heart of servitude like He had.
One Thanksgiving after I recovered, I spoke to my husband, who was the eldest of six siblings and thought of ancestor worship as very important. I said, "God is the one who saved me, and He's not pleased with ancestor worship. The worship isn't given to your parents. It is actually given to evil spirits. The Bible clearly says so." It was a sensitive issue they could create a conflict within our family. But my husband listened to my firm but pleading request, and he agreed to stop the ancestor worship.
After finding out that there are evil spirits that cause harm to relationships with people, I didn't hate anyone anymore. Sometimes my mother vented her anger at our family and there will be conflict. When that happened, I used to hate my mom. But the problem wasn't her. It was evil spirit that gave my mom anger and gave me heat.
Now I understand my mom, and my hatred towards her disappeared. Then I came to love her more. I hear this often when I share the gospel to people who know me: "What ? Didn't you hate Christianity ? But now you believe in Jesus ?" Then I feel awkward. But, you know, the apostle Paul was the same. So I boldly confess, "Yeah, I didn't know back then that there is a Lord who created us, and He is Jesus !"
The reason my life was hard before was because I was living as my own Lord. I was so happy when I shared the gospel, whether they listened or not.
Since my hope is in heaven, I'm not worried even if the cancer comes back. Right now, our home is foreclosed upon, so we have to move. But I'm not worried at alI. It's because I believe that I already have everything in Jesus.
I was my own master, and I refuse to open the door even when I heard my true master knocking. But I finally returned to the Lord after going through economy hardships and sickness. I give thanks with all of my heart to Jesus, who never gave up on me and found me though I was as stubborn as a mule.
Now I will carry on my mission to share the gospel with joy so the many souls we return to Jesus through me. Thank you.
Source:
--- Thus Testimony from Jinsook Yu ...
- Ia membawa aku ke luar ke tempat lapang, Ia menyelamatkan aku, karena Ia berkenan kepadaku. - (Mazmur 18:19).
- Karena itu Aku berkata kepadamu: apa saja yang kamu minta dan doakan, percayalah bahwa kamu telah menerimanya, maka hal itu akan diberikan kepadamu. - (Markus 11:24).
- Segala perkara dapat kutanggung di dalam Dia yang memberi kekuatan kepadaku. - (Filipi 4:13).
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